Why is my toddler throwing things? Toddler throwing behavior is a common developmental stage often stemming from exploration, testing boundaries, or expressing emotions. This guide provides effective strategies for redirecting toddler’s throwing and teaching appropriate behaviors. We’ll cover everything from preventing toddler throwing to implementing gentle discipline for throwing toddlers, providing solutions for toddler throwing and managing toddler throwing effectively.
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Fathoming Toddler Throwing
Toddler throwing objects is a very common behavior, and it can be frustrating for parents. But before you get upset, try to figure out why your child is throwing things. There are many reasons why a toddler might engage in this action:
- Exploration: Toddlers learn by exploring the world around them. Throwing allows them to see what happens to objects, how far they go, and what sounds they make. This is a way for them to learn about gravity, cause, and effect.
- Testing Boundaries: Toddlers often test the limits of what they are allowed to do. Throwing is a quick way to see how you will react. They are learning what behaviors are acceptable and what are not.
- Attention-Seeking: If your toddler throws something and gets a reaction from you, they learn that throwing is a way to get your attention. Even negative attention (like a scolding) is still attention.
- Emotional Expression: Toddlers don’t always have the words to express their feelings. Throwing can be a way for them to release anger, frustration, or even excitement.
- Developing Motor Skills: Throwing helps toddlers develop their gross motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and arm strength. It’s a physical activity they enjoy.
Stages of Throwing Development
It’s helpful to know how throwing skills develop. This helps you understand what your toddler is capable of and what they’re trying to achieve:
Age | Typical Throwing Behavior |
---|---|
12-18 Months | Drops objects intentionally; may toss things without much aim. |
18-24 Months | Throws objects with more force, but still lacks accuracy. |
2-3 Years | Begins to aim throws; can throw overhand with some control. |
3-4 Years | Improves accuracy and distance; can catch larger balls with assistance. |
Preventing Toddler Throwing
The best way to deal with throwing is to stop it before it starts. Here are some strategies for preventing toddler throwing:
- Create a Throwing Zone: Designate a specific area, either indoors or outdoors, where throwing is allowed. This could be a basket of soft balls or an open space in the backyard. Explain to your toddler that they can only throw things in this area.
- Offer Alternatives: Give your toddler safe things to throw, like soft balls, beanbags, or stuffed animals. Keep these items easily accessible so they can grab them when they feel the urge to throw.
- Remove Temptations: Put away objects that you don’t want your toddler to throw, such as breakable items, small toys that could be a choking hazard, and anything valuable.
- Supervise Closely: Pay close attention to your toddler, especially when they are in situations where they are likely to throw. Catch the behavior early and redirect it.
- Teach “Gentle Hands”: Show your toddler what “gentle hands” means. Practice touching things softly and praise them when they do it correctly.
- Use Positive Reinforcement: When your toddler plays appropriately with toys or throws in the designated area, offer praise and encouragement. This reinforces the desired behavior.
Managing Toddler Throwing Food
Toddler throwing food is a common issue that can be incredibly frustrating. Here’s how to manage it:
- Rule Out Medical Reasons: Make sure your toddler isn’t throwing food because of a medical condition, such as difficulty swallowing or food allergies. Talk to your pediatrician if you have concerns.
- Keep Mealtimes Short: Toddlers have short attention spans. Keep mealtimes to around 20-30 minutes. If they start throwing food before the meal is over, it might be a sign they are done eating.
- Offer Small Portions: Give your toddler small portions of food at a time. This can reduce the temptation to throw large amounts.
- Avoid Power Struggles: Don’t get into a battle of wills with your toddler over food throwing. This will only make the situation worse. Stay calm and consistent.
- End the Meal: If your toddler throws food, calmly say, “No throwing food. Mealtime is over.” Remove the food and end the meal.
- Consistent Response: Always respond the same way when your toddler throws food. This helps them understand that the behavior is not acceptable.
- Model Good Behavior: Let your child see you and other family members eating politely and not throwing food.
Here’s a table summarizing these points:
Strategy | Description |
---|---|
Rule Out Medical Reasons | Consult your pediatrician to rule out any underlying medical issues. |
Keep Mealtimes Short | Limit mealtimes to 20-30 minutes to prevent boredom. |
Offer Small Portions | Provide small amounts of food to reduce throwing temptation. |
Avoid Power Struggles | Stay calm and consistent; don’t engage in battles of wills. |
End the Meal | If throwing occurs, calmly end the meal. |
Consistent Response | React the same way each time food is thrown to reinforce the rule. |
Model Good Behavior | Demonstrate polite eating habits to your toddler. |
Redirecting Toddler’s Throwing
When you see your toddler about to throw something they shouldn’t, redirect their attention and energy to a more appropriate activity.
- Offer a Substitute: If your toddler is about to throw a toy car, offer them a soft ball to throw instead.
- Change the Activity: If your toddler is throwing because they are bored, switch to a different activity, like playing with blocks, reading a book, or going outside.
- Engage in Physical Play: Sometimes toddlers throw because they need to release energy. Engage in active play with them, like running, jumping, or dancing.
- Distract and Divert: Use a distraction to divert their attention away from the object they want to throw. This could be a toy, a song, or a funny face.
- Verbal Redirection: Clearly and calmly tell your toddler, “No throwing. We don’t throw toys.” Then, suggest an alternative activity.
Effective Communication Techniques
How you communicate with your toddler is crucial.
- Use Simple Language: Toddlers understand simple words and short sentences. Speak clearly and directly.
- Be Consistent: Use the same language and rules every time. This helps your toddler understand what is expected of them.
- Stay Calm: Getting angry or yelling will only escalate the situation. Remain calm and in control.
- Use Positive Language: Focus on what you want your toddler to do, rather than what you don’t want them to do. For example, instead of saying “Don’t throw the car,” say “Let’s roll the car on the floor.”
- Get Down to Their Level: Kneel or sit down so you are at eye level with your toddler. This helps them feel more connected and understood.
Discipline for Throwing Toddlers
Discipline is about teaching, not punishing. When your toddler throws something inappropriately, use these strategies:
- Time-Out: If your toddler continues to throw after being redirected, give them a short time-out. One minute per year of age is a good guideline.
- Loss of Privilege: Take away the object they are throwing or the activity they are engaged in.
- Explain Consequences: Help your toddler understand the consequences of their actions. “If you throw the toy, you will have to put it away.”
- Avoid Physical Punishment: Never hit, spank, or shake your toddler. Physical punishment is harmful and ineffective.
- Focus on Positive Reinforcement: Reward good behavior with praise and attention. This encourages your toddler to repeat the desired behavior.
Age-Appropriate Discipline
The type of discipline you use should be appropriate for your toddler’s age and developmental stage:
Age Group | Appropriate Discipline Strategies |
---|---|
12-18 Months | Distraction, verbal redirection, removing the object. |
18-24 Months | Time-outs (brief), loss of privilege (toy removed), clear and simple explanations. |
2-3 Years | Time-outs, loss of privilege, explaining consequences, positive reinforcement. |
Solutions for Toddler Throwing
Let’s look at some specific scenarios and solutions:
- Throwing Toys at Siblings: Teach your toddler about gentle play and respect for others. Separate them if necessary.
- Throwing During Tantrums: Help your toddler learn healthy ways to express their emotions, such as talking, drawing, or squeezing a stress ball.
- Throwing in Public: Remove your toddler from the situation and provide a quiet space for them to calm down.
- Persistent Throwing: If your toddler continues to throw despite your best efforts, consider seeking advice from a pediatrician or child development specialist.
Creating a Positive Environment
A positive and supportive environment can help reduce throwing behavior.
- Provide Plenty of Attention: Make sure your toddler is getting enough attention and affection.
- Offer Opportunities for Play: Provide opportunities for active play and exploration.
- Establish Clear Rules and Expectations: Make sure your toddler knows what is expected of them.
- Be a Role Model: Model appropriate behavior yourself.
- Patience is Key: Remember that toddler throwing is a normal developmental stage. Be patient and consistent, and your toddler will eventually outgrow it.
FAQ About Toddler Throwing
Here are some frequently asked questions about toddler throwing:
- Is throwing normal toddler behavior? Yes, toddler throwing is a common and normal behavior, especially between the ages of 1 and 3. It is often a way for toddlers to explore their environment, test boundaries, and develop their motor skills.
- Can I ignore toddler throwing? Ignoring throwing is not the best approach. While some behaviors can be ignored, throwing often requires intervention to prevent harm or reinforce negative behaviors. You should redirect the behavior and teach appropriate alternatives.
- What if my toddler is throwing things out of anger? Help your toddler learn healthy ways to express their emotions. Teach them words to describe their feelings and provide alternative outlets for anger, such as drawing, playing with playdough, or taking deep breaths.
- When should I be concerned about my toddler’s throwing? If your toddler’s throwing is frequent, aggressive, or accompanied by other concerning behaviors (such as hitting, biting, or self-harm), it’s a good idea to consult with a pediatrician or child development specialist.
By using these strategies, you can effectively manage your toddler’s throwing behavior and help them learn more appropriate ways to express themselves and interact with the world around them. Remember to be patient, consistent, and supportive, and your toddler will eventually outgrow this phase.

Clark Lubowitz is a parenting expert with over 10 years of experience in toddler care and child development. Holding a degree in Early Childhood Education, he specializes in blending modern technology with parenting, offering expert advice on the best toddler gadgets. Through his work on ToddlerAwesome.com, Clark provides valuable insights to help parents make informed decisions for their little ones.